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Save your draft, save your soul

I should be studying for my French oral exam tomorrow, but I don't think one night is going to make much of a difference to my piss poor pronunciation. I've got a pretty solid B in that class right now and I'll be excited if I can finish up with a B-. Shootin' for the stars here.

I have an A in everything else, so I figure my GPA can deal. It's weird, but I've become one of those students that I've always hated. You know the ones who sit front row center and always seem to have something to say? To the point where the teacher stops calling on them? Yeah, that's me. I can practically feel my classmates rolling their eyes behind me. And I freak out if I don't get As on every little thing. I go to extraordinary lengths to make sure my professors know who I am and like me. Needless to say I'm not sleeping very much. But you should read some of the crap I'm churning out for papers and exams - I'm starting to sound like I know what I'm talking about (unlike the infamous "Heathcliff was a werewolf" paper I wrote for my Bronte seminar at W&M). My advisor confirmed my suspicion that I have pretty much zero chance of getting into Chapel Hill, but he thinks I can get into Duke. He's already offered to write me a letter, and it feels really good to have his support. I didn't even have an advisor at W&M. I start a GRE prep class in a couple of weeks (after a month's worth of searching for one I could afford). I will also be applying to the honors program next term. This time when I graduate, there will be stuff in Latin on my degree.

The other day I was reading an article about non-ADHD kids abusing ritalin to be more focused in school (the so-called "study drug") and, where the old Mary would have thought, "Dude, that's fucked up," the new Mary thinks, "Huh...I wonder if that would work..." Yeah, sad.

I'm not playing a ton of music right now. I've still got my band, and we practice twice a week, which is good. We'll be playing shows by January if not sooner. Andrew, out new bass player, didn't like A Grin & a Grenade, so we've been calling ourselves The Ghostdance. Honestly, I think it makes us sound like we should be playing New Age music at some head shop somewhere, but we haven't had a names for ages and I hardly care at this point.

It does feel good to finally have a focus. I'm going to get a degree in religion and then I'm going straight to grad school. If I get into Duke, I'll go there. If not, I'll commute to Wake Forest, finish the masters there, and then go to Duke or Chapel Hill for the PhD. I will then spend the rest of my life paying off student loans and writing books on witchcraft that hardly anyone will read. It's going to rule.